


Summertime Sadness

by Grantair__e



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: A bit emo lol, Changkyun is edgy, Everyone Is Gay, Lim Changkyun | I.M-centric, M/M, Shin Hoseok | Wonho is a Softie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-12 06:25:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15333792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grantair__e/pseuds/Grantair__e
Summary: As summer ends, Changkyun has to face his last month in his hometown, just before going to university far away from home.He also has to face the fact his boyfriend, Hyungwon, the man he has been with almost two years, is  also going to university, far from him.Aware of this change, Changkyun feels trapped in the last days of his old life.





	1. Chapter 1

Changkyun always thought about the past as something strange yet not worthy of taking time on. Whatever you did- it did not matter anymore. There was no way of changing it, neither changing how someone felt that moment nor recreating that sensation again.  
  
However, as the cold water the soft weaves brought hit his feet, Changkyun surprised himself remembering the last few years- and most important, last months. It had been a truly stressful year, but he had overcome it. But now all the stress and exams had disappeared from his mind, now he had been accepted in university, Changkyun felt strange. He felt as himself- that version, the one it was standing in front of the sea at 5 p.m, flip flops in one hand and a soft breeze playing with his messy hair- was part of the past. In one month, there would not be evenings at the beach or getting ready each morning to go to the same school he had been going for almost all his escholarized years. It felt like all that time had been somewhat unreal.   
  
As he gazed at the sea -that thin line that separated blue and orange sky of the calm sunbathed water- sun hit his left cheek, his body getting used to feeling sand in his legs. He closed his eyes, trying to recall all the details he just saw: the salt in the air and the feeling of being welcomed by the last rays of evenings sun and blue firmament, which would be easily replaced by a fiery red and later, the darkness of night.   
  
It felt as it was the past.   
  
"Changkyun" A soft voice called his name. He felt how long and a bit boney fingers- which didn't mean it wasn't a lingering and lovely touch- stroked his own hand. When he opened his eyes, he found that the image had changed.   
  
Hyungwon was in front of him. His brown eyes scanned the younger boy, but Changkyun didn't seem to care. In fact, he was looking at him- how his soft and a bit tanned skin glowed with golden tones under the sunlight, and how plump his light pink lips were. His hair fell in front of his eyes in a messy way. It felt like an angel was on vacation and decided to stop there to talk to him.   
  
"Where are you? Were you thinking of something?"His playful tone felt as velvet stroking every fiber of his body. Changkyun smiled back at him.   
  
"I don't know. I guess- I just drifted off. "   
  
Hyungwon raised his eyebrows with a critical but affectionate look. He knew that bad habit Changkyun had about daydreaming. Funnily enough, it was the reason they started getting to know each other.   
  
Compared to other things, it wasn't a long time since that happen. Just a year and a half ago, Hyungwon didn't take part in Changkyuns life, as well as Changkyun in Hyungwons. They were both "the cute next classroom boy" or "that handsome guy". Nevertheless, at that moment, it felt from ages ago. It felt just like it hadn't ever happened- like hyungwon always was a part of him, of his past, but also his present and future.   
  
However, all of that was a part of the past. In a month, there would be no more 3 am walks to his door, nor quick chats at the schools hall before class started. No more Sunday morning -Saturday was the day Hyungwon always slept at Changkyun house- kisses, no more sleepless nights. It all was going to be part of the past.   
  
It felt strange.   
  
"Well, you have to be careful, or you will end up be buried in the sand" Changkyun then noticed how much he had digged his feet on the sand. They Were almost buried by sand, making it difficult to move. Nevertheless, he didn’t seem to care; he loved to be there, quiet and looking at the sea, no matter how much his feet disappeared in the sand.

  
"I would be the guardian of the sand." Changkyun laughed without moving yet.   
  
"I swear to god, don't make another vine reference or I will snap. "   
  
"You won't, I'm too cute for that. "   
  
"Even if you're cute, i'm the handsome one. "   
  
Changkyun grinned because that phrase, and proceeded to sigh in a exagerrated manner. "That's true- What would I do without you?"   
  
"Being taller in the eyes of other people... Probably. "   
  
Changkyun finally took a few steps back, finally being able to look at his feet, full of wet sand.   
  
"Probably."   
  
The conversation faded as they picked up everything to get back to the apartment. It was their last day there, so they wanted to have everything sorted up before going back home.   
  
As they left the beach, Changkyun looked over his shoulder- Children playing around, the orange purple tones that filled the sky, the feeling of cold water hitting his feet.   
  
He could never repeat that moment, so he closed his eyes and let the summer breeze filled his lungs, intoxicated his mind.   
  
He held Hyungwon's hand.


	2. Hi, I'm Hoseok.

When they got back home, it was late at night. Street lights were already on, and a sweet breeze played with their hair while they got off the car. Huge giant buildings stood in silence, their windows gave out faded yellow lights that were complemented by shadows and laughters, silences and stories Changkyun would never be aware of, as well as those people, who would never know about him. Even if it was the end of summer, heat had decided to stay, and the light rain brought back a suffocating feeling that remembered the first days of vacation.

Changkyun's home was a few blocks away. They would just left their things there, since his parents were also away until Monday. Instead, Minhyuk, a friend from school, had invited them over.  
  
Hyungwon preferred to go to sleep but since Minhyuk had insisted so much, he ended up giving in and accepted Minhyuk’s pleads and slept in the car so he wasn't so tired.  
  
They finally did everything and parked the car near Minhyuk's apartment, which was near Hyungwon's. They had been friends for a few years, even if they seemed to be an strange duo; Minhyuk was just like an hyperactive dog, always full of energy, meanwhile Hyungwon lived in a sleepy state. However, they loved each other very much, and when Changkyun and Hyungwon started dating, it felt like they also adopted Minhyuk. But Changkyun didn't care- He also loved that blond and excited guy a lot.  
  
"I should have gone and take a nap" Hyungwon said with a sleepy voice when they were standing outside Minhyuk's apartment.  
  
"Don't call sleeping all day a 'nap' , what you do is nearer of a coma than anything else. "Changkyun teased him with a small smile printed in his lips while he rang the doorbell. At first Hyungwon looked a bit offended, but it rapidly changed to an acceptance face, since it was kinda true.  
  
When the door opened, Changkyun didn't expect to find someone else there. However, it was obvious the boy at the door wasn't Minhyuk; In fact, a tall and beefy guy was in front of the couple. He had tanned skin and small dark eyes that complemented his serious expression.  
  
Changkyun kept looking at him, confused by the stranger.  
  
"Guys!!" Minhyuk voice interrupted the moment when he appeared behind the tall guy, hopping so they could see him. "I've missed you so much!" He approached them and gave them a hug, rambling about how much he had waited them to come back. "Did you have fun? Oh, yeah, this is Hyunwoo" He turned to the serious guy, who just said 'hi'. "He's a friend of mine, they were passing by and are going to spend the night here. I thought you would get along."  
  
He talked fast and with a big smile on his face. Even if you were mad at him, it was impossible to say something; Minhyuk always carried with him that happy vibe that everybody seemed to be so attracted to.  
  
"They?" Changkyun asked, who still felt weird about finding someone else there.  
  
"Yeah, come on- Meet Hoseok."  
  
They entered the apartment after Minhyuk, while the so-called Hyunwoo closed the door.  
  
There was a guy sit on the couch watching TV. As Hyunwoo, he was also muscular and tall, but his skin was pale. He had soft features- his dark eyes matched his black hair, and his lips were painted of a strong pink, plump and big. He wore blue ripped jeans and a white t-shirt and, for a moment, Changkyun wondered why he never thought about the fact that that kind of outfit was so cool. The boy turned around to see the couple, and he smiled.  
  
He also wondered how a smile could be so big and warm and make a heart flutter.  
  
"Hi, I'm Hoseok!" Hoseok had a deep but lovely voice. It was calming and felt like how weaves hit Changkyun's legs when he was at the sea. Did that make any kind of sense? He didn't know- But he shyly smiled back at the boy.  
  
"Changkyun?" Hyungwon asked when the boy didn't answer.Changkyun parpadeó a few times. God, he had just drifted off again. But Hoseok didn't seem to care- "It's a cute name. Nice to meet you."  
  
"He's cute" Minhyuk said, hugging Changkyun.  
  
"Thanks, I guess" The boy just let him do that. After so much time together, Changkyun had reached the conclusion that Minhyuk didn't ever get tired of being so touchy, so he didn't care anymore.  
  
"Well, he's right. " Hoseok said. Changkyun felt how his cheeks turned a bit red, but he didn't say anything. He didn't really believe it, but it was okay. He got used to it a long time ago.  
  
After a few minutes, they all sat at the living room; it took part of almost all the place’s space, since the living room and kitchen were connected. The Tv was now turned on as background music, since the group was chatting. Hyunwoo, even if he didn’t look like it, was kind and funny. He was the older one, and had started working a few months ago in a company, as Minhyuk had said before. Even if he was sympathetic, he had that stoic image that made Changkyun feel small next to him. Hoseok  on the contrary, was so gentle and soft hearted that it felt like he had the biggest heart ever seen.

Hyungwon was quite silent; he looked tired, but he was doing his best to enter the conversation or talk with Changkyun, who also was entering the I-just-wanna-sleep mood. 

“So you just graduated? Congratulations- what are you going to study?” Hyunwoo asked, looking at the sleepy couple.

 “Acting.” Hyungwon explained. “I’m kinda excited, to be honest."

"I'll study Film. " Changkyun said after a few seconds. 

"Wow, what a power couple. " Hoseok laughed, looking at the two boys that were sitting next to each other holding hands. 

"Thanks..." Changkyun answered in a whispering tone. He wasn't used of being complimented by a lot of people, so every comment Hoseok -practically an stranger- made, he became flustered. 

"They are. What a pity I'm alone..., we could go double dating, don't you think?" Minhyuk grinned and played with his hair, trying to make a sad face. 

"If we had to spend together more time than we already do, I'd have killed you. " Hyungwon trheatened him with a tired voice. Changkyun knew it was impposible, but Hyungwon always kept that sassy and somewhat rude actitude towards Minhyuk. However, he didn't seem to care. That was part of their relationship. 

"You still love me." Minhyuk answered Hyungwon without leaving that smile he always had. 

The time passed way faster than Changkyun expected. Everyone had started talking in a low tone, and Changkyun realized it was 3 am when he looked at the clock. He was at the same position in the sofa, his head resting in his arm. Did he fall asleep? 

He turned around and found out Hyungwon wasn't there; He had probably came back to his own home. 

"Hey." Hoseok was sitting in a chair, drinking a glass of water. Minhyuk was sleeping in the armchair. That was the only moment he looked really calm- Minhyuk was such an energetic person, Changkyun thought. 

"Hey." Changkyun said, without really opening his eyes. "Did I fall asleep...?" 

"It was cute- we weren't capable of waking you up. " The older guy laugjed in a soft manner. Changkyun then noticed how his eyes closed when he laughed, and the way his smile was formed. 

"Did Hyungwon go to sleep?" He proceeded to ask. 

"Yep. He didn't want to say it, but he was about to fall asleep too, so he just went."

"Okay..." Changkyun closed again his eyes, getting back to his old position. "Then, goodnight I guess." 

Hoseok smiled at the boy. 

"Good night, Changkyun."


	3. Orlando

When Changkyun woke up, the image was pretty close at how everything was the night before.   
  
Minhyuk was sleeping in the airchair, his legs dandlings the recliner and his head resting in his arm. Was he comfortable? Changkyun tried to know how could he sleep in such position, but he wasn't going to think a lot about it; Suddenly, something interrupted his little self-monologue and rambling.   
  
It was an strong smell that made him feel suddenly awake- it was, without a doubt, coffee. The distinct aroma had invaded the living room. Changkyun could almost taste it. He gained consciousness and was able to distinguish everything in the room, something he wasn't fully capable before he was in all his senses.   
  
The boy sat up and yawned. His back hurt, but he knew it was gonna happen.   
  
"You didn't sleep a lot- Good morning." Hoseok voice interrupted the silence in a low tone, since he didn't want to wake up the blonde guy sleeping in a weird position. It was, nevertheless, kind and soft.   
  
Changkyun looked at him; The man was dressed up in sportswear. Did he sleep in that clothes or had he just came back from exercising? If it was the second option- damn, he surely had willpower. Hoseok had a cup of coffee in his hands, the smoke coming out of it meaning it had been just made.   
  
"You neither did it." Changkyun answered in a raspy voice.   
  
"I'm not used to sleep in other people's houses. I miss mine, to be honest..." He sat next to Changkyun, offering him the coffee.   
  
"Are you far away from your home then?" He received the drink with a small smile and drank in silence.   
  
"Kinda. I mean, I live with Hyunwoo, but if you're talking about home, then I'm far away." He looked nostalgic and a bit sad, and Changkyun wondered what happened to him to be lik this. "I miss my mom's"   
  
Changkyun couldn't help but smile. Man, that guy was soft.   
  
"You must miss her a lot"   
  
"I really do. She's the best. " Hoseok kept playing with his hands- it looked like it was an habit of him. He gently stroked the palm of his left hand with his right thumb. He clearly looked homesick.   
  
Changkyun stared at him and then looked around in silence; It was early in the morning, so the sky was painted with purple and dark blue tones which were fading as the sun made its way into the picture; and soft yellow that cleared the city and stroked with its rays the tall and silent buildings.   
  
Curtains couldn't stop the entrance of light, and now the living room was coloured by the new day, while the TV accompanied with an static sound. At that hour, one could almost be a little cold. The smell of coffee impregnated the air, while the liquid made little waves, Changkyun almost saw himself reflected in the drink.   
  
"Is it hard?" He asked, his eyes gazing to TV.   
  
"To be far away from home? It depends. Sometimes, you don't really think about it- but then it strikes and it hurts. I guess I'm a little too sensitive, though" Hoseok laughed in a caressly way. "What are you gonna miss?"   
  
Changkyun didn't answer. He didn't know what to say, even if he had responded.   
  
But Hoseok didn't seem to mind that silence. Instead, he went along with it.   
  
Minhyuk woke up a few hours later- but Changkyun was already gone.   
  
That evening, Hyungwon put two coffees in Changkyun living room table. The both of them were sitting at the sofa. Changkyun was scrolling through his phone in silence, while Hyungwon started reading by his side. They were alone in home, but it wasn't rare. Changkyun's parents used to be away due to his father's work, but none of them really cared. Even if they didn't spend a lot of time together, they tried to be close.   
  
Changkyun loved them, that was for sure.   
  
"What are you reading?" The boy turned to see his partner, who was already sipping his cup of coffee in silence while reading.   
  
"Orlando, by Virginia Woolf." He said, showing Changkyun the book's cover; The draw had thick lines that marked the outline of the figures that were drawn, who were difficult to state if they were women or men. However, the darks but soft tones that were gave the image a peaceful feeling, even if the figures showed hurry in their bodies.    
  
"What's it about?"    
  
"Huh, I don't really know." Hyungwon placed the book in his lap, thinking. "It's about this duke that lives in 17th century England, but one day he gets transformed in a woman, and he's immortal. They tell his story. I don't know how to explain it- but it's really good." He said, looking at the now closed book.    
  
"He's immortal? Wow" Changkyun took the novel and opened it, looking through its pages. "Doesn't he miss everything he has to left behind?"   
  
"Yeah, obviously. But he also finds other new things in his new life" Hyungwon played with Changkyun's hair. He spoke in a soft voice; It remembered him when Hyungwon used to be casted to school theatres. Even when he was nervous, he always appeared to be so elegant and serene Changkyun couldn't help but be impressed by it.   
  
He could recall the first time he saw Hyungwon; It was in one of the first theatre Rehearsal of the school year. Even if he was surrounded by the rest of his theatre classmates, he outstanded.   
  
He looked so beautiful, just like he was from elsewhere, a place where everything seemed to be delicate and perfect, quiet but powerful.    
  
For Changkyun, Hyungwon embodied all those feelings.    
  
"Aren't you scared? Of leaving things behind?"Changkyun asked. "Of leaving things in the past?"   
  
Hyungwon looked at his partner in silence, a bit confused. He clearly didn't expect that question- There were moments when no one could know what Changkyun thought, nor expect what he was going to say.    
  
"Yeah, I guess. Why do you ask it?"   
  
"Just a thought. " Changkyun shrugged off.    
  
Hyungwon kept looking at him. "I won't break up with you because of distance, you know that, right?" He said, frowning a bit.    
  
"Oh, no, no" Changkyun held his boyfriend's hand in a hurry, moving his body a bit to see him better. "I wasn't thinking that, I swear."   
  
"Are you sure? Is everything okay?" Hyungwon asked again, unsure.    
  
"Yeah, I was just thinking." He didn't let go his hand. "I don't know, like- Don't you think it's going to be strange to come back home and see what our parents are doing? Like, our bedrooms, or just changing their routines. And we are not going to walk around the same places we use to do. Don't you think that's scary?"   
  
Hyungwon didn't say anything for a few minutes. They just kept that position- hands interlocked, never letting go, their arms touching and the warmth of summer in the air.    
  
"I guess." He finally concluded. "But I don't know-we will see them from time to time, I guess."   
  
"Yeah, I guess."   
  
"We will see each other too, right?" Hyungwon asked, a sense of stiffness growing in the air. It was more of nervousness- of uncertainty.    
  
"Yeah, we will."

 


	4. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey I know I stopped the chapter and didn't upload or anything and I'm sorry. I have had problems with an abusive part of my family and until now I wasn't able to write nor be in a good mood. I'm sorry and I'll try to update the fic as soon as possible. If you like it, please let me know!

As much as Changkyun didn't like to be inactive, he felt too heavy to move. Since his last conversation with Hyungwon, Changkyun felt strange- He had never thought of breaking up, so why Hyungwon had reacted so quickly? Did he think about breaking up?

Deep inside, he was aware it was pretty imposible to happen. He trusted their relationship- They had been together for almost two years, distance wasn't so terrible, wasn't it?

It made him feel anxious. 

Whenever Changkyun was anxious, he used to film new videos. Even if he was really critical about his own work, he found peace and tranquility in the camera. When he was alone, it felt safe to film. 

So that was what he did.

It was early in the morning: Streets were almost empty, since few people worked at that time of the year, and the light blue undertones that announced the new day had started to appear. Changkyun loved those moments-He found the cure to everything that made his thoughts blurry and difficult in being alone. He knew it could be a bad habit sometimes- Hyungwon used to scold him for being so closed -, but talking about what he was feeling at the moment never felt right for some reason. 

 He started filming; The lenses captured the early-ish people who walked their dogs, the slow movement of grey clouds. The morning breeze played with a small plastic bag, which was carried away by it, disappearing in the horizon. He filmed the stray cats who looked at him whit their big eyes, and the street lights that had their own glow being blurred by the hidden sun. 

Even if he walked, he wanted the movie to keep moving. He didn't care about it being blurry or not having a real meaning. He just wanted to remember how that kind of mornings were. And he kept and kept walking, seeing the world thought those lenses, until he entered a park nearby Minhyuk's apartment. When Changkyun started using there his camera, he took a long shot that showed all the park. However, in the middle of it, a man showed up in the shot. 

It was Hoseok. 

He was standing there's looking at Changkyun with a soft smile. Changkyun retired the camera from himself and looked at the other man in silence. He finally returned the smile in a shy manner, without saying nothing. 

"Good morning." Hoseok said when he approached Changkyun. This time, he was in street wear. "Are you practicing with your camera?"

"Yeah." Changkyun looked at it. Its borders were damaged and the years had surely left their mark on it. But that was what made it so special. " I want to keep filming with it even when I'm doing my own films."

"That's ambitious."

"No- It's just I really like this camera." Changkyun shrugged off. "Do you mind if I keep filming? I have never done it here. "

"You don't have to ask me" Hoseok laughed in a soft way. "Can I be with you?"

"Yeah, sure."

 

 

_"So what do you usually like doing on your free time?"  Changkyun asked while he recorded Hoseok, who was walking at a slow pace, hands in his pants pockets._

_"On my free time?" Hoseok repeated. "I usually work out and write songs."_

_"Wow" Changkyun stopped looking through the cameras lenses, but kept filming. "That's cool- The writing part, I can't stand working out. " His remark made the man laugh in a soft tone, which made Changkyun blush._

_"It's great, you should give it a try..." He answered "And yeah, I really like it. "_

_"What do you write about?"_

Hoseok seemed to stop and think about it for a second. He smiled softly, his eyes making little wrinkles around the corner and. "I guess I do it about things that seem to be hard to express with bare words."

"For example?"

"Home and love, maybe?"

"Is it hard to you to talk about love?" Changkyun asked. For him, Hoseok looked like someone who openly talked about what he felt- But maybe it was that he was really closed about his feelings, so everyone was really vocal about their own compared to him. 

"Love is complicated. You're in a relationship, I guess you already know that."

Changkyun slowed his pace, taking down the camera from his usual position. It now recorded his own feet. 

For Changkyun, love wasn't complicated. He just had to be with someone, didn't he? If you didn't behave like an idiot, there would be no problem. 

"Why do you say that?" His tone was full of curiosity. 

"Love isn't always about two people. You can't expect to be in good terms with everyone. " The other man shrugged off "Also, things like distance and work... You can't always cope with it. 

Changkyun didn't say anything. 

 

 

 

 "What's home to you?" Changkyun inquired, filming Hoseok. He was sitting in front of the man, filming his movements- How he let his chin to lay in his hand in a comfortable way, his eyes traveling around the place and, in the end, falling in the camera's lenses- Just like he was looking through them, lookign at Changkyun. 

"It's the place where I want to be after a long drive. It doesn't have to be an specific place, thought. Sometimes, it's just a person."

"Do you have someone like that?"

"I used to. Do you?" 

Changkyun felt the urge to say yes, but for some reason, it ended up feeling as a robotic answer. Just like he said it because of saying something, not because he felt it. 

Did someone make him feel like that?  He then remembered Hyungwon. However, Hyungwon didn't suit him for that idea. Hyungwon- he felt as a part of the routine. 

Changkyun guessed it was okay. 

"What happened to that person? To not feel like home anymore?" 

"He preferred another person. " Hoseok didn't say more- His eyes seemed sad, just like nostalgia had invaded them. "But they're happy now. "

"How did you know he was your home?" 

"2nd of February, 2016"

"You know the day?" Hoseok let out a sad laugh. 

"Yeah. He is a photographer and had to be out of the city for a few weeks. We shared a flat black then, so I stayed there and while he wasn't there, I wasn't even capable of really like it, you know what I mean? I looked at the furniture, tried to cook, but it all felt emptier that it should. And when he came back, it was like the problem was I forgot to switch on the lights, like I was all the time in the darkness. I don't know if it makes sense- But it made it to me at the time."

Changkyun listened to the soft but deep voice of Hoseok as if he was talking about the deepest secret of the universe and they were the only ones that knew about it. 

He probably was doing something like it, he thought. 


	5. Chapter 5

The last few days, Changkyun surely noticed the sense of haziness and confusion that his life had. His parents had returned on Monday, but they haven't talked a lot since then. And Hyungwon wasn't around at the moment, so he didn't know what to do.

That was why he started to wake up early, in order to film the first rays of light. It kept him occupied and by evening, he was tired. Was he just trying to shortening the days? Probably.

But he was also changing his schedule for one person.

Hoseok.

Changkyun felt infatuated by him. They usually found each other in random places -but, in a not really explicit manner, their place was a solitary bench at the park near Minhyuk's apartment.- and talked for hours. Hoseok had told him about his first kiss and where he usually went with his family on vacation. He knew about that time he had spilled coffee all over his date and that time Hoseok was too whipped out about this one boy he asked Hyunwoo to talk good when he was with that guy.

Hyunwoo and Hoseok had been friends since their first year of college. They always said didn't know how really happened- but Hoseok admitted he had might have a little crush on him and that was why he learnt to dance. Hyunwoo was a choreographer, and lived in Hoseok's old apartment- The one he had shared with that guy he talked about.

On the other hand, Hoseok hadn't explicitly talk about that man, the one he made him feel at home. But Changkyun could surely notice his presence in Hoseok's stories. It wasn't intentional, so Changkyun didn't care.

"So will Hyungwon come tonight?" Hoseok asked him when they were coming back from the park.

That night, Minhyuk had organised a little party in his apartment, since Hyunwoo and Hoseok were leaving. They were coming back next week, Hyunwoo said, but Minhyuk loved to party- and he wasn't going to let pass this opportunity.

"Probably- he's coming back from the residence and interview in a few hours and will take a nap... if he wakes up... Then he surely will love to come. " Changkyun explained. He had turned off the camera and had put it away in his backpack.

"Is he auditioning for some role? That's fast"

"No" Changkyun nodded with a little smile. " He wants to have a job as a model, so he can gain some money while he's there. "

"I used to do that, too. But he has to keep in mind that he can't get lost in his job... " Hoseok said. Changkyun had explained him Hyungwon's tendency to overwork himself with the little things, and his own worries about his partner losing himself in his duties.

"I hope he does."

They had arrived to Minhyuk's apartment, but no one seemed to answer the doorbell, until Shownu opened the door.  
He had that serious expression that Changkyun had finally get used to, even if at first it made him feel maybe too much respect for the man. But, in the end, Hyunwoo was a funny and sweet guy- it just appeared in different ways than Hoseok.

"Oh, hi-" Hyunwol greeted them with a slow head movement, as they entered the flat.

"Hey, I thought you went shopping. " Hoseok took off his sweatshirt and put it away. Without it, he looked even bigger- And he already was the strongest-looking of all of them.

"Yeah, but Minhyuk called me. He said he felt sick, but didn't say anything. He's now trying to reach Hyungwon" The oldest explained while crossing his arms with a little frown.  
"I'm going to check on him" Changkyun said, hurrying. Whenever Minhyuk said something like that, it usually was an serious issue.  
Minhyuk's bedroom door was closed, but there was no sound coming out from the room. Changkyun knocked the door a few times, but didn't wait for a answer- Instead, he entered.

Minhyuk was sitting on his bed, his blond hair falling on his eyes and a lost look on his face. He usually wasn't like that- Not with a lot of people. Not even with Changkyun- only with Hyungwon. But he wasn't there.

"Is everything okay?" Changkyun asked, closing the door after him. His friend didn't gave an answer, but nodded without conviction and kept looking at his cellphone, which was on his hands. "Minhyuk- you know you can tell me about it" He approached the guy, sitting by his side at the bed.

"I just- I was overreacting. " He whispered. "He talked to me again and I just..." He went silent, moving his head in distress. "And Hyungwon doesn't answer my calls, I didn't know what to do. Sorry, I... " Minhyuk sighed.

Changkyun didn't say anything, but tried to reach the other one's hand, stroking his palm slowly.

"Hyungwon can't be always there, Minhyuk, you know that" He responded in a thin voice that was barely perceptible.

"That's 'cause he is going to be for you " In the spam of a second, Minhyuk's voice had turned clearly resentful and harsh. His body started to show how rigid he already was, but his eyes were full of indignation and envy, a kind that Changkyun had seen before.

Changkyun didn't say anything- He just avoided the blonde's gaze.

They didn't say anything for a few minutes; The air was tense and they both felt uncomfortable, but didn't know what to say.

"Sorry. "Changkyun ended up murmuring. After a few seconds, his apologize was answered by a 'don't worry' that Minhyuk tried to make sound as kind as possible.

"Let's just go outside, we have to buy things for this night." Minhyuk smiled again- Even if a few seconds before he looked defeated and full of rage, an smile now painted his face.

He always did that.

Changkyun had left the apartment half and hour later, excusing himself by saying he had to help his father. He felt violent and guilty about the conversation he had had with Minhyuk, but he wasn't able of knowing what else he could to than just disappear a few hours so the tension between him and Minhyuk went away.

  
It didn't happen a lot- Just when those kind of topics were brought to the table. In those moments, Minhyuk became defensive and insecure, just like he built a wall around the topic and himself. And, in some kind of way, Changkyun understood why he did that, but he also felt as he wasn't of any help. So, what else could he do?

When he got home, Changkyun started going through all his tapes that had recorded the last few years.

  
There were a lot that had the name 'Hyungwon' on it. After them, the name 'Minhyuk' also appeared a lot. The tapes that were filmed before those who belonged to their folders had just assigned dates.

Changkyun sighed and turned off the computer, playing with the headphones cords. He just needed to rest, he thought. 


End file.
